Sämsta bok?

I was embarrassed not so much because the book is hardcore chick lit and I’m a man, but because it is arguably the worst novel ever written in the English language and I wasted some precious hours of my life reading it.

I’m not alone among men who have admitted to having read the novel and been dismayed by how poorly written it was. Salman Rushdie read it (or at least part of it) and gave this review: “I’ve never read anything so badly written that got published. It made Twilight look like War and Peace.”

Lesser-known novelist David Llewellyn tried to read it but couldn’t get past page four. He did, however, write a brilliant criticism of the novel’s opening paragraph. “I’m not judging the type of novel 50 Shades sets out to be,” wrote Llewellyn, “What I object to is bad writing.”

Bad indeed. Each time I sat down to slog through another chapter, I would wince at the poor grammar, overtly contrived plot, and the predictable, trite dialog.

The pain caused by reading Fifty Shades of Grey was far beyond anything I’d ever experienced in the reading of a book, even when I made the long march through War and Peace during my college days.

Llewellyn’s criticism went right to the heart of the matter: “The problem with 50 Shades is one of mechanics, of the basic engineering of almost each and every sentence. The reason I haven’t read past page 4 is because it hurt my eyes.”