roligaste monty python sketchen..

Det finns ju som sagt hur många klassiker som helst, men en i Life of brian, killen som vill bli tjej...kommer fan inte ihåg riktigt hur den går bara att den är rolig som fan, själva diskussionen, sugig förklaring men ni vet vilken jag menar! Givetvis tillhör den De large nämner också till favoriterna och the killer rabbit i the holy grail plus en massa andra ni nämner, skulle kunna sitta en hel dag o rabbla upp roliga sketcher från monty python.

sorry delarge, hittade den. Läs och njut: The Four Yorkshiremen

Eric Idle:
Very fussable, isn't it? Very fussable.
All:
Right, all right.
Graham Chapman:
Good glass of Chƒteau de Chasselas, ain't just that, sire?
Terry Jones:
Oh, you're right there, Obadiah.
Graham Chapman:
Right.
Eric Idle:
Who would have thought, thirty years ago, we'd all be sitting here drinking Chateau de Chaselet, eh?
All:
Aye, aye.
Michael Palin:
Them days we were glad to have the price of a cup of tea.
Graham Chapman:
Right! A cup of cold tea!
Michael Palin:
Right!
Eric Idle:
Without milk or sugar!
Terry Jones:
Or tea!
Michael Palin:
In a cracked cup and all.
Eric Idle:
Oh, we never used to have a cup! We used to have to drink out of a rolled-up newspaper!
Graham Chapman:
The best we could manage was to suck on a piece of damp cloth.
Terry Jones:
But you know, we were happy in those days, although we were poor.
Michael Palin:
Because we were poor!
Terry Jones:
Right!
Michael Palin:
My old dad used to say to me: "Money doesn't bring you happiness, son!"
Eric Idle:
He was right!
Michael Palin:
Right!
Eric Idle:
I was happier then and I had nothing! We used to live in this tiny old tumbled-down house with great big holes in the roof.
Graham Chapman:
House! You were lucky to live in a house! We used to live in one room, all twentysix of us, no furniture, half the floor was missing, we were all huddled together in one corner for fear of falling.
Terry Jones:
You were lucky to have a room! We used to have to live in the corridor!
Michael Palin:
Oh, we used to dream of living in a corridor! Would have been a palace to us! We used to live in an old watertank on a rubbish tip. We'd all woke up every morning by having a load of rotten fish dumped all over us! House, huh!
Eric Idle:
Well, when I say a house, it was just a hole in the ground, covered by a sheet of tarpaulin, but it was a house to us!
Graham Chapman:
We were evicted from our hole in the ground. We had to go and live in a lake!
Terry Jones:
You were lucky to have a lake! There were 150 of us living in a shoebox in the middle of the road!
Michael Palin:
A cardboard box?
Terry Jones:
Aye!
Michael Palin:
You were lucky! We lived for three months in a rolled-up newspaper in a septic tank! We used to have to go up every morning, at six o'clock and clean the newspaper, go to work down the mill, fourteen hours a day, week in, week out, for six pence a week, and when we got home, our dad would slash us to sleep with his belt!
Graham Chapman:
Luxury! We used to have to get up out of the lake at three o'clock in the morning, clean the lake, eat a handful of hot grubble, work twenty hours a day at mill, for two pence a month, come home, and dad would beat us around the head and neck with a broken bottle, if we were lucky!
Terry Jones:
Well, of course, we had it tough! We used to have to get up out of the shoebox in the middle of the night, and lick the road clean with our tongues! We had to eat half a handful of freezing cold grubble, work twenty-four hours a day at mill for four pence every six years, and when we got home, our dad would slice us in two with a breadknife!
Eric Idle:
Right! I had to get up in the morning, at ten o'clock at night, half an hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of cold poison, work twenty-nine hours a day down mill and pay millowner for permission to come to work, and when we got home, our dad would kill us and dance about on our graves, singing Hallelujah!
Michael Palin:
Aah. Are you trying to tell the young people of today that, and they won't believe you!
All:
No, no they won't!

SPAM! Så otroligt sjuk så man fan häpnar.
(Spam är i det här fallet inte otäcka mail utan burkskinka)

Scene: A cafe. One table is occupied by a group of Vikings with horned helmets on. A man and his wife enter.

Man (Eric Idle): You sit here, dear.
Wife (Graham Chapman in drag): All right.
Man (to Waitress): Morning!
Waitress (Terry Jones, in drag as a bit of a rat-bag): Morning!
Man: Well, what've you got?
Waitress: Well, there's egg and bacon; egg sausage and bacon; egg and spam; egg bacon and spam; egg bacon sausage and spam; spam bacon sausage and spam; spam egg spam spam bacon and spam; spam sausage spam spam bacon spam tomato and spam;
Vikings (starting to chant): Spam spam spam spam...
Waitress: ...spam spam spam egg and spam; spam spam spam spam spam spam baked beans spam spam spam...
Vikings (singing): Spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam!
Waitress: ...or Lobster Thermidor a Crevette with a mornay sauce served in a Provencale manner with shallots and aubergines garnished with truffle pate, brandy and with a fried egg on top and spam.
Wife: Have you got anything without spam?
Waitress: Well, there's spam egg sausage and spam, that's not got much spam in it.
Wife: I don't want ANY spam!
Man: Why can't she have egg bacon spam and sausage?
Wife: THAT'S got spam in it!
Man: Hasn't got as much spam in it as spam egg sausage and spam, has it?
Vikings: Spam spam spam spam (crescendo through next few lines)
Wife: Could you do the egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam then?
Waitress: Urgghh!
Wife: What do you mean 'Urgghh'? I don't like spam!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!)
Waitress: Shut up!
Vikings: Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up! (Vikings stop) Bloody Vikings! You can't have egg bacon spam and sausage without the spam.
Wife (shrieks): I don't like spam!
Man: Sshh, dear, don't cause a fuss. I'll have your spam. I love it. I'm having spam spam spam spam spam spam spam beaked beans spam spam spam and spam!
Vikings (singing): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam!
Waitress: Shut up!! Baked beans are off.
Man: Well could I have her spam instead of the baked beans then?
Waitress: You mean spam spam spam spam spam spam... (but it is too late and the Vikings drown her words)
Vikings (singing elaborately): Spam spam spam spam. Lovely spam! Wonderful spam! Spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam spa-a-a-a-a-am spam. Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Lovely spam! Spam spam spam spam!

Philosophers drinking song (Ja, jag kan den utantill...)

Eeeeeeeeemanuel Kant was a real pissant who was very rarely stable
Heidegger, Heidegger was a boozy beggar who could think you under the table.
David Hume could out-consume Wilhelm Friedrich Hegel.
And Wittgenstein was a beery swine who was just as sloshed as Schlegel.
There´s nothing Nietsche couldn´t teach ya bout the raising of the wrist.
Sokrates himself was permanently pissed.
John Stuart Mill of his own free will after half a pint of shandy was particularly ill.
Plato they say could stick it away - half a crate of whisky every day.
Aristotle, Aristotle was a beggar for the bottle - Hobbes was found of his dram.
And Renée Descartes was a drunken fart: "I drink therefore I am".
Yes, Sokrates himself is particularly missed.
A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when his pissed.

"Vi tycker att ert amerikanska öl är ungefär som att älska i en kanot"
"Älska i en kanot?!"
"Det är snuskigt nära vatten"

Denna sång framfördes i "Live at Hollywood Bowl". By the way - jag är till 150 procent säker på att scenen med de 5 som sitter och skryter över sin taskiga barndom är hämtad från "Secret Policemans Ball" och ingen annan stans. Jag ser inte skymten av någon som ens kommer i närheten av Mr Beans utseende i "Hollywood Bowl".

Oslagbart..

Hmm sketchen med dom som skryter om sin barndom dök väl först upp i ett flying circus avsnitt eller minns jag helt åt helvete?

Invigningen av postlådan är en favorit, otroligt dryg men rolig.
Michael palin håller ett lågnt tal om denna nya postlådan i ett gatuhörn någonstans i london och när han har pratat klart och man tror att det ska hända nåt så tar han om talet... på tyska
När han sedan är klar med den tyska verisionen och man undrar vad som ska hända drar han det en gång till.... på franska.

Dennis moore avsnittet är ju också en klassiker.

sketchen med den rumänska ordboken är ju rätt så trevlig.
"my hoovercraft is full of eels"
"would you press your body against mine, i am no longer infected"

Någon som har sett "Confuse a cat ?"
Den är bara underbar.

Ingen som tyckte om någon av mina favoriter? "Lumber jack song" och "Crunchy frog". Om någon har glömt bort "Crunchy frog" så kommer den här. (Från Holywood Bowl)
----------------------------------------
Inspector: 'ELLO!
Mr. Hilton: 'Ello.
Inspector: Mr. 'ilton?
Hilton: A-yes?
I: You are the sole proprietor and owner of the Whizzo Chocolate Company?
H: I am, yes.
I: Constable Clitoris and I are from the 'ygiene squad, and we'd like to have
a word with you about your box of chocolates entitled the "Whizzo Quality
Assortment".
H: Oh, yes.
I: If I may begin at the beginning. First there is the Cherry Fondue.
Now this is extremely nasty. (pause) But we can't prosecute you for that.
H: Ah, agreed.
I: Then we have number four. Number four: Crunchy Frog.
H: Yes.
I: Am I right in thinking there's a real frog in 'ere?
H: Yes, a little one.
I: What sort of frog?
H: A...a *dead* frog.
I: Is it cooked?
H: No.
I: What, a RAW frog?!?
H: Oh, we use only the finest baby frogs, dew-picked and flown from Iraq,
cleansed in the finest quality spring water, lightly killed, and sealed in
a succulent, Swiss, quintuple-smooth, treble-milk chocolate envelope, and
lovingly frosted with glucose.
I: That's as may be, but it's still a frog!
H: What else?
I: Well, don't you even take the bones out?
H: If we took the bones out, it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?
I: Constable Clitoris et one of those!! We have to protect the public!
C: Uh, would you excuse me a moment, Sir? (exits)
I: We have to protect the public! People aren't going to think there's a real
frog in chocolate! Constable Clitoris thought it was an almond whirl!
They're bound to expect some sort of mock frog!
H: (outraged) MOCK frog!?! We use NO artificial additives or preservatives of
ANY kind!
I: Nevertheless, I advise you in future to replace the words "Crunchy Frog"
with the legend, "Crunchy, Raw, Unboned Real Dead Frog" if you wish to avoid
prosecution!
H: What about our sales?
I: FUCK your sales! We've got to protect the public! Now what about this
one, number five, it was number five, wasn't it? Number five: Ram's
Bladder Cup. (beat) Now, what sort of confectionery is that?!?
H: Oh, we use only the finest juicy chunks of fresh Cornish Ram's bladder,
emptied, steamed, flavoured with sesame seeds, whipped into a fondue, and
garnished with lark's vomit.
I: LARK'S VOMIT?!?!?
H: Correct.
I: It doesn't say anything here about lark's vomit!
H: Ah, it does, at the bottom of the label, after "monosodium glutamate".
I: I hardly think that's good enough! I think it's be more appropriate if the
box bore a great red label: "WARNING: LARK'S VOMIT!!!"
H: Our sales would plummet!
I: (screaming) Well why don't you move into more conventional areas of
confectionary??!!
(the constable returns)
I: Like Praline, or, or Lime Creme, a very popular flavor, I'm lead to
understand. Or Raspberry Lite. I mean, what's this one, what's
this one? 'Ere we are: Cockroach Cluster! -- -- Anthrax Ripple!
C: MMMMWWWAAAAAGGGGGHHHH!!

** For those of you watching this transcript on your terminal, the young **
** constable has just thrown up into his helmet. This is the longest **
** continuous vomit seen on Broadway since John Barrymore puked over Laertes **
** in the second act of Hamlet in 1941. **

I: (continuing) And what is this one: Spring Surprise?
H: Ah, that's one of our specialities. Covered in dark, velvety chocolate,
when you pop it into your mouth, stainless steel bolts spring out and plunge
straight through both cheeks.
I: (stunned) Well where's the pleasure in THAT?!? If people pop a nice little
chockie into their mouth, they don't expect to get their cheeks pierced!!!
In any case, it is an inadequate description of the sweetmeat. I shall have
to ask you to accompany me to the station.
H: (shrugging) It's a fair cop.
I: And DON'T talk to the audience.
--------------------------------------------

Förresten, jag glömde en........"Dead Parrot"!! Vilken klassiker.

Bub

Eftersom alla verkar ha tycky om Nudge Nudge kommer den här.
----------------------------------------------------
*** Nudge Nudge, know what I mean, know what I mean!
*** from Monty Python live at City Center and Monty Python's Flying Circus
*** transcribed from tape 4/3/86 Malcolm Dickinson <CLARINET@YALEVMX>


Man: 'Evening, squire!
Squire: (stiffly) Good evening.
Man: Is, uh,...Is your wife a goer, eh? Know whatahmean, know whatahmean,
nudge nudge, know whatahmean, say no more?
Squire: I, uh, I beg your pardon?
M: Your, uh, your wife, does she go, eh, does she go, eh?
S: (flustered) Well, she sometimes "goes", yes.
M: Aaaaaaaah bet she does, I bet she does, say no more, say no more,
knowwhatahmean, nudge nudge?
S: (confused) I'm afraid I don't quite follow you.
M: Follow me. Follow me. That's good, that's good! A nod's as good as a
wink to a blind bat!
S: Are you, uh,...are you selling something?
M: SELLING! Very good, very good! Ay? Ay? Ay?
(pause)
M: Oooh! Ya wicked Ay! Wicked Ay! Oooh hooh! Say No MORE!
S: Well, I, uh....
M: Is, your uh, is your wife a sport, ay?
S: Um, she likes sport, yes!
M: I bet she does, I bet she does!
S: As a matter of fact she's very fond of cricket.
M: 'Oo isn't? Likes games, eh? Knew she would. Likes games, eh? She's been
around a bit, been around?
S: She has traveled, yes. She's from Scarsdale.
(pause)
M: SAY NO MORE!!
M: Scarsdale, saynomore, saynomore, saynomore, squire!
S: I wasn't going to!
M: Oh! Well, never mind. Dib dib?
Is your uh, is your wife interested in....photography, ay?
"Photographs, ay", he asked him knowlingly?
S: Photography?
M: Snap snap, grin grin, wink wink, nudge nudge, say no more?
S: Holiday snaps, eh?
M: They could be, they could be taken on holiday. Candid, you know,
CANDID photography?
S: No, no I'm afraid we don't have a camera.
M: Oh. Still, mooooooh, ay? Mwoohohohohoo, ay? Hohohohohoho, ay?
S: Look... are you insinuating something?
M: Oh, no, no, no...yes.
S: Well?
M: Well, you're a man of the world, squire.
S: Yes...
M: I mean, you've been around a bit, you know, like, you've, uh....
You've "done it"....
S: What do you mean?
M: Well, I mean like,....you've SLEPT, with a lady....
S: Yes....
M: What's it like?
------------------------------------------

Bub

Jag tror att sketchen med de som skryter om sin fattiga barndom är ännu äldre. Var med i en föregångare till Monty Python. Jag har sett den i en svartvit inspelning där Marty Feldman hade en av rollerna.

Annars är ju papegojförsäljaren en av de roligaste.

En topplista (utan inbördes ordning - fem favoriter helt enkelt)

Mr Creosote (att ni har glömt honom, fy skäms!) (det är den smällfete gubben på restaurangen som spyr ner allt och alla. Ur filmen "Meningen med livet")

Världens roligaste skämt (finns det någon som lyckats översätta följande: "Wenn ist das nunstuck git und schlottermeyer? Ja, beerhund das oder der flipperwalt gehrspuht."? Eller det kanske bara är en nonsensmening på tyska.)

Maraton för inkontinenta (Försök hålla er för skratt. Försök bara...)

Steningen i "Life of brian" ("Jehovah, jehovah, jehovah")

och slutligen

Nudge, nudge (Har nämnts flera gånger tidigare, men den är vansinnigt kul)