Varför vill ni feminister förbjuda mig från att köpa sex?

the same report, pulled from a total of over 6,000 men aged 16-74, also found that those most likely to have paid for sex in the last five years are single men aged 25 to 34.

The research – conducted by University College London and the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine and published in the journal Sexually Transmitted Infections – led lead researcher Dr Cath Mercer of UCL to conclude: "The picture that emerges does not necessarily fit the stereotype of the lonely older man … men who pay for sex are more likely to be young professionals."

It’s an observation that rings true for Charlotte Rose, escort and sexual trainer. Two of her most regular clients are best friends, both aged 19, who visit Rose one day after the other. Neither count as anomalies among her clientele.

"The demographic is changing towards younger professionals because younger men’s preferences are changing," Rose tells me. "A ‘professional service’ with an escort [creates] a mutual understanding of what the client wants and gets. All do’s and don'ts are pre-discussed and fantasies are more easily explored."

Dakin also believes the 24/7 lifestyle of so many young professionals plays a part in how they get their sexual kicks. "The faster pace of life, the increase in pressure at work and longer hours mean that many young professionals look for quick instant gratification when they feel stressed," she says. "The fast speed of the internet has made this all the more possible."

Sue, an escort for over 15 years and member of the English Collective of Prostitutes concurs that a quick fix in a fast world is part of the appeal of visiting an escort for many young men. "People are a bit more pressed for time now so if you just want to have a quick bit of sex it’s more reliable. They can just look on the internet and find somebody and just pop by and it’s very straight forward."

There’s no doubting that the internet has increased access to escorts – there are over 100 agencies in London alone and that’s not taking into account independents.

"People of all age groups may find themselves in a situation wherein they may feel compelled to pay for companionship. So I wouldn’t say that the ‘lonely old men’ idea is outdated so much as it was always off mark."

Posted byu/tossawaysdacct
19 days ago
Silver
Question for Women: Why are so many of you married to men you're not sexually attracted to?
There have been more than a few posts from women lately, essentially stating one or more of the following:

--I am married, but I am not sexually attracted to my husband

--I am about to get married to a man I love, we are good together, we are a great team, but I am not sexually attracted to him and he just doesn't turn me on

--I have never been sexually attracted to the man I'm married to

--I used to be kinda sorta sexually attracted to my husband, but as the years wore on and life happened I've lost sexual attraction

Now, that last one, I understand. I completely understand how you can lose sexual attraction for a man you've been with a long time. How life happens, careers change, people change, weight gain, hair loss, bodies aging, etc.

What I don't get is women who are marrying men who have never tripped their clits. What I don't get is women marrying men they were never all that into. I don't understand a woman marrying someone, much less having kids with someone, who they don't want to fuck.

Help me understand this. Why do women do this? Why do you marry men you're not sexually attracted to? Why do you marry guys you don't want to fuck?

The honest truth: he was the only offer and I am afraid to die alone.

I concur. After dating 5+ yrs and living together, I didn’t know any better. And no one else asked. There was nothing else left to do.

It was the easy, cowardly option but after dating someone for my entire 20’s I somehow convinced myself I couldn’t do any better.

I’ve also found that the guys I was most sexually compatible with were not men I would want a long term relationship/marriage with. For me the 2 have never aligned and I don’t think that’s a coincidence.

Couldn’t agree more. The men who I was with who were amazing and exciting in bed were all unstable in their personal lives. The men who I would consider myself to be more compatible with on a long term life level were still okay in bed, but not as great as their unstable counterparts.

I 100 percent agree with this. I found that as well.

The men that are good lovers, were lousy people and the men that were good people, were lousy lovers.

Exactly!

Oh yeah...the fundamental irony isn't lost on me...cheating with assholes years later after marrying a "good" man.

That's the thing.... when everything works except the sex, nothing works.....

Even if he ticks all the other boxes, if he doesn't tick the sex box, he'll end up getting cheated on or divorced...

THIS! 💯

Most definitely. I married someone that I can live life with, a great friend and partner. I'm sexually attracted to AP but he's definitely not someone I'd marry or be in long term relationship with. Sucks to have to pick and choose which battle you're ok with losing.

As for men who are hot and not good in bed. Who doesn’t want to fuck a hot guy? The thing is, only once your in bed with him do you learn if he’s actually good in bed or not. Hotness does not have a 1:1 direct correlation to greatness in bed. I’ve fucked a societally-considered unattractive man and he was one of the best lays I’ve ever had (no I did not marry him).

I'm a woman, and I'm also baffled by women who marry men they were never attracted to, even during dating. My friend did this, and while she won't come right out and admit it, she did it because he was "comfortable" for her and she knew he'd put up with all her bullshit (she's got emotional issues). She looks at him like her best friend, but she's never really been turned on by him. He turned out to be abusive though, but she still won't leave him because I think she's afraid she'll never find anyone else who will want a serious relationship with her because of her erratic behavior and drinking problem.

Every guy I dated that I loved having sex with was a narcissistic abuser or an addict. I was, and still am, attracted to my husband (but it was never passionate lust). He just doesn't read body language well, isn't willing to be rougher with me, and goes from kissing for 2 minutes to rubbing my clit despite NUMEROUS discussions about needing to be warmed up (as well as the other stuff). Also, he only wants PinV, everything else is just foreplay. I like a variety and don't always want to go straight to PinV sex. I miss high school and getting off in other ways.

Also, I really like hanging out with him. He is funny, witty, hard working and a great father. Two decades ago that seemed more important than sex. Now, I'm facing a mid-life crisis and don't want to die having never experienced the kind of sex I really enjoy. I figure he has been given 2 decades to give me what I've asked for and he has chosen to ignore me.

I married someone who was safe, stable and kind to me. As life went on I found out things about him that made me resent him and lose trust for him, and eventually that lead to a loss of interest in him sexually.

I stay because we have to much built up together and I still consider him to rank decently in terms of husband material. I feel like I’ll never again feel any sort of passionate love again in life but I stay with him and stay loyal to him because it’s the safe and comfortable choice against starting over again trying to date and find someone new.

I did in the beginning. As time went on our sex become more of just something we “should” do, rather than something either of us really wanted to do. Also as time went on I began to think less of my husband as a person, making me feel less like being open with him sexually.

There's for sure a subset of women for whom this is the case. I had a neighbor who'd freely admit to other women that she married the safe, secure guy. Her husband was trim, fit, and competent at life. He was not an investment banker who looked like Jax Teller and fcuked like a champion.

I'm a therapist and in my late 30's. I'm starting to see more of my female friends and clients being described as "low libido" because they have no desire to have sex with their husband. Often I hear them say things like, "I wouldn't care if we never had sex again," or “I just never feel like having sex.” However, these same women either get into affairs and can't get enough of their AP, or they get divorced and then can’t get enough of their new boyfriend. That’s not really “low libido.”

This isn't very revolutionary, Esther Perel has been talking about it for a while, but I'm wondering about the women in this subreddit. How many of you women are married to pretty great guys, but just feel NO spark or desire towards them? He doesn't beat you, he doesn't verbally abuse you, he works full time and supports your family, he's a good father, etc. but you may really believe that he’s a bad partner because you’ve demonized him in your mind to justify your affair(s).

This is my situation. My husband is a great man. He's a shitty communicator, but that's not unique. However, when I started having affairs, I was telling myself how horrible he was and how I'm not "meant to be with someone like him." I was justifying my affairs so I wouldn’t feel like a horrible person for not desiring him and wanting to have sex with other men.

Sometimes, people don't even realize that this is what's happening. I think lots of women say they have “low libido” because they assume that must be the problem if they don't want to have sex with their husbands, who they really do care about. And then if they DO realize what's happening, they will rarely admit to it because they don't want to be seen as a bad spouse or a slut, and they honestly don't want to hurt their husband's feelings or bruise his ego.

I think more often then not, that this is what's happening in long-term relationships. Women lose desire for their husband because they're bored with him. He's probably still fairly attractive to her, in that if he weren’t her husband, she’d check him out if he walked by her on the street. He's probably a good person, good father, and a pretty good partner. She really wishes she wanted to have sex with him because it's causing problems in her marriage, but just doesn't want to. Some people might refer to it as the “Seven Year Itch.” At this point in the marriage/relationship, she may seek out an affair because she starts to demonize him as being a bad partner, and he may seek out an affair because he's not getting sex at home, and sex IS a big deal and it IS important!

Man here. One who recently had his wife say the exact phrases "I wouldn't care if we never had sex again." and “I just never feel like having sex.”. I can tell you that is one of the most painful things my wife has ever said to me. We've had our issues like all marriages but I didn't think it'd come to that.

Actually, tonight we had another fight and part of it ended up me venting my frustrations about a lack of any affection at all. She again told me it wouldn't happen (actually the phrase "sex is only meant for procreation" was used). So I asked her if she wasn't going to help me with my needs then what would she think if I looked elsewhere.

To which she quickly responded with "I'd fucking leave your sorry cheating ass, that's just gross!"

For the last few years of my marriage my wife would yell that she hated me and wanted a divorce. Once I gave her the divorce she was even more miserable and ended up telling me she loved me and didn't know what went wrong. She apparently forgot those times when she asked me what I wanted for my birthday or Christmas, and I told her I didn't want anything but for her to be nice to me. She would laugh, tell me I was overly sensitive, and then walk out of the room.

I do find my husband attractive - but attraction doesn't always equate to desire. My husband is good looking and when we do have sex, I cum. He goes down on me, I really have no real complaints. I just have absolutely NO desire to have sex with him. I wish I did because it would solve many, many issues in our relationship. I can't force myself to desire him. I can force myself to have sex with him and I do. But sometimes I'm too tired to even do that. He's resentful and feels undesired, I'm resentful because I feel like I'm doing something I don't want to do. But I'm not alone. I've talked to several women who have the same experience.