Stora tråden om Donald Trump [mod]

1. The tax returns would show us how rich and successful he really is. They’d show all the money he has coming in, and the tiny amount he is paying in, say, debt interest. And Donald Trump is very shy. He feels uncomfortable showing off his wealth.

2. The returns would show us how generous he is to charities. No one has yet been able to find any evidence that Trump gives money to charity, which he says he does. The tax returns would prove it. The donations would show up as itemized deductions. And it would just embarrass Trump too much.

3. The returns would prove he’s not connected to Vladimir Putin or Russian oligarchs. Doubtless they would show no mysterious cash infusions from, or payments to, shady entities in Moscow or offshore laundromats in the Caribbean, Europe or Asia. But Trump feels it would be wrong to have to prove he isn’t connected to the Russian mob. You should just believe him.

4. The returns would show he pays taxes as any patriot does. Donald Trump is running for president because he loves America. And that’s why he pays a fortune each year in taxes — supporting defense, Homeland Security, education, Medicare and so on. Given his campaign platform, he’s especially proud of all the tax money he pays to support our troops, and our border patrols, and the fight against terrorism. But he’s embarrassed to show it.

5. The returns would show he invests in the U.S.A. His tax returns would prove that he puts his money where his mouth is, and invests to create businesses and jobs right here in the U.S., and not in, say, low-wage sweatshops in Mexico and China. But if our enemies knew what a sentimental and patriotic guy he is, once he’s president they’d take him to the cleaners. So Trump has to keep it secret — sadly.