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Ursprungligen postat av
N.Armstark
Känslan av skuld ökar när familjen erbjuds stöd och hjälp och till och med av omgivningens välvilja. Då blir allt fel som var menat bra och depressionen försvåras konstant.
Ja, precis. Slitsam personlighet må jag säga - i behov av hjälp och stöd men får ångest av det:
“when someone helps me, I feel guilty."
Då lär man sitta som i en rävsax och det lär bli dubbla roller. Vill väl men blir helt fel pga överkrav och inbillade förväntningar på moderskapsrollen.
Allt ska helst ska vara förutsägbart för att upprätthålla välbefinnande - blir extremt sårbar vid oförutsedda händelser. Lär copa dåligt vid livskris och sjukdom. Tangerar OCD till viss del.
Beroende av homeostas:
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"Fixation on the harmony of the interpersonal relationships."
“My happiness depends on the happiness of those around me.”
"(..) controllable and predictable order assures the state of well being and defends it from potential threats from the surrounding world."
"(..) without something unforeseen in his/her thinking, generates a very important opening of vulnerability."
“ It is very hard for me to adapt to a new situation.”
Det här tangerar moderskapet - en roll med förväntningar och
upplevda krav från omgivningen - och likaså omvårdnadsaspekten:
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“I feel like I have serious problems when I cannot do what others expect of me.”
"TM is extremely attentive with others, anticipating their needs and working intensely to satisfy the other."
“I feel like I have serious problems when I cannot do what others expect of me.”
Tar väl hand om barnen, den perfekta modern - men ständigt rädd att betraktas inkompetent:
Citat:
"Several studies describe mfs mothers with a Typus Melancholicus personality style as perfect mothers.
Their performance orientation and the concomitant fear of being seen as inadequate, if not the love for their children, may lead the mothers to take good care of their children."
I relation till mfs (maternal filicide-suicide) - altruistiska motiv men det blir helt galet:
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"An attempt at mfs by these mothers usually was based on altruistic motives. Considering the characteristics of the TM personality, it can be no surprise that the altruistic motive was based on the mother’s perception of not being able to meet expectations (..)"
Projicerar sin ångest på barnen:
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"Once a mother starts to generalize and projects her own social anxiety onto her children, she may also fear that her children will never be free of social anxiety for the rest of their lives."
Skuldbelägger sig att inte kunna skydda barnen i varken nuet eller framtiden:
"Her own (perceived) inability to do something about her children’s current and future suffering may lead to self-blame."
Tar på sig alldeles för stort ansvar i sin roll:
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"(..) easily (over)identifies with others and with social roles"
"(..)feels responsible for events and behaviors of others over which she has no control and with which she may not even be involved, might develop guilt of pathological proportions, when negative events do occur."
Vilket tilltar ihop med depression:
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"When social anxiety is comorbid with depression, and especially with melancholic features, the possibility of pathological guilt emerges."
Och den riktigt farliga konsekvensen det kan leda till gällande överkrav på ansvarstagandet - ser sig som ett med barnet:
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"The mother’s general fears for her children and their future which are related to her own perceived inability to protect her children may lead to serious cognitive distortions about potential dangers "
"In their role of mother, their lack of a solid sense of self caused them to experience their child as an extension of themselves.
This led to the assumption that whatever was bad about the mother would also apply to the child.
When anxiety about this led to feelings of doom, the mothers increasingly believed that suicide would be the only solution. Because the child was experienced as part of their self-the authors speak of an extended self-the child would automatically be included in a suicide attempt."
"A compounding problem may occur when the mother has a child with a disability or chronic
illness. First, the mother with a Typus Melancholicus personality may blame herself for the fact that her child is disabled or chronically ill."
"In addition, she may believe that extra mothering skills are needed for this challenge, while she is already suffering from deficits in this area."
De är lätta att missa då de ter sig normala och högfungerande:
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"Such risk factors might not be obvious, because people of this personality type often are high functioning."
"Typus Melancholicus can appear to be high functioning a clinician might not suspect the mother’s irrational fears and, when confronted with them, he or she might dismiss them."
