Behöver hjälp att rätta min text!

Tjena!

Håller på att skriva ett personligt brev samt cv på engelska, finns det någon som är bra på engelska som har tid/ork att titta på min text för ev. fel?

Hittar inga j*vla program för att rätta ev. fel i meningar, är verkligen sämst på meningsuppbyggnad/grammatik. Har försökt att hitta felen själv men hittar dom inte.

Här är texten:

Dear Ms. Sofia Andersson


My name is ****** **** and I am 17 years old and I live in Bosvedjan, Sundsvall. The reason I am writing to you is that I have heard from a friend that Biteline needs to employ some new workers. As I heard this, I thought that it would be a great opportunity to contact you to tell that I can be the right person for some sort of part time job.

I am studying estetiska musikprogrammet in the school of Hedbergska (High school, esthetic music-program), where I am studying the 2nd year.

On my spare time, I play in two bands; “Barnbarnen” and “Purified Insanity” where I play bass. I really enjoy to play music, by playing music you get the opportunity tp meet new people, all the time. This is really fun and interesting.

I want to clarify that I am not just engaged into music only, I really like cooking different kinds of food as well.

I am a happy kind of person that have easy to get in touch with other new people. I am responsible and have easy to cooperate with other people, through this, I think I could match very well with other employers. In a manner of speaking: I can be the right person for this type of job!

I have some work experience that I think can become advantages in this type of work I am going to name of few (you can read more in my CV):

Four years ago I had APU at Motorcentrum (work study at a car dealership), I had the order to keep everything clean in the environment of the customers. Through this, I got in my mind how much the hygienic matter in the environment of the customers.

I had another APU (work study) two years ago, when I worked in your restaurant. I really enjoyed it and I want to work for you again.

Please read through my CV on the next page and/or contact me for a job interview. I really look forward to telling more about me. You can call me or email me at *****, ****@hotmail.com


Skulle verkligen uppskatta om någon kunde hjälpa mig!

/qween

Ändra till fettext på namn och ålder så är det viktigaste fixat.

Edit: såg fel.

you get the opportunity tp meet new people,

to

My name is ****** ****. I am 17 years old and I live in Bosvedjan, Sundsvall.
The reason I am writing to you is that I have heard from a friend that Biteline needs to employ some new workers. As I heard this, I thought that it would be a great opportunity to contact you to tell that I can be the right person for some sort of part time job.

I am studying estetiska musikprogrammet in the school of Hedbergska (High school, esthetic music-program), where I am studying the 2nd year.

On my spare time, I play in two bands; “Barnbarnen” and “Purified Insanity” where I play bass. I really enjoy to play music, by playing music you get the opportunity to meet new people, all the time. This is really fun and interesting.

I want to clarify that I am not just engaged into music. I really like cooking different kinds of food as well.

I am a happy kind of person who finds it easy to get in touch with other new people. I am a responsible person who finds it easy to cooperate with other people. Through this, I think I could cooperate very well with other employees. In a manner of speaking: I could be the right person for this type of job!

I have some work experiences that I think can become advantage in this type of work. I am going to name a few (you can read more in my CV):

Four years ago I had APU at Motorcentrum (work study at a car dealership), I had the order to keep everything clean in the environment of the customers. Through this, I got the knowledge of how much the hygiene in the environment of the costumers matter.

I had another APU (work study) two years ago, while working at your restaurant. I really enjoyed it and I want to work for you again.

Please read through my CV on the next page and/or contact me for a job interview. I really look forward to telling more about me. You can call me or email me at *****, ****@hotmail.com

My name is ****** ****. I am 17 years old and situated in Bosvedjan, Sundsvall. The reason as to why I am writing this, is that I've heard from a friend that your company needs to employ some new workers - I thought this would be a great opportunity to contact you, as I believe that I could be the right person for some sort of part-time job.

I am studying at a school called Hedbersgka which is part of the Swedish Gymnasium, I'm in the second year and am studying an esthetic music-program.

On my spare time, I play the bass for two bands: "Barnbarnen" and "Purified Insanity", which is something I really enjoy doing. Through music, you get the opportunity to meet new people, all the time, something that I consider not only to be funny, but also interesting. However, music is not my entire spare time, as I enjoy cooking different kinds of food too.

I would call myself a happy kind of person, and I don't have a hard time to get in touch with other people. I am responsible, and cooperative. Shortly put, I could cooperate very well with other employees, which is why I could be the person for the job!

I have a few previous working experiences which I think could prove to be an advantage in this kind of a job, of which I will name a few while the rest are to be found in my CV:

My first APU (work study) was at Motorcentrum, which is a car dealership. My job was to keep everything clean in the environment of the customers, which taught me how much hygiene matters in areas where customers will spend time.

My second APU was two years ago, at your restaurant. I really enjoyed it, which is partially why I am writing this - I want to work for you again.

Please read through my CV on the next page and contact me if a job interview would be possible; I really look forward to telling more about myself. You can call me at [telefon-nummer], or email me at [mailaddress]@hotmail.com

Är jobbet på engelska? Vill inte klanka ner på dig på något sätt men din engelska är inte riktigt felfri och det kanske är fel arbetsspråk för dig?

Det verkar som du först skrivit texten på svenska och sen översatt den rakt över, correct me if I'm wrong...!

Inget fel med det, men det låter lite dumt

haha, faktiskt inte. Grejjen är dock att jag är värdelös på engelska

Nej nej, det är en uppgift i skolan på engelskan. Vet dock inte riktigt hur jag ska förbättra min engelska så pass att jag kan bygga felfria meningar etc :/