Varför är det viktigt att en man har ett bra självförtroende?

5. Higher self-esteem

Not surprisingly, given all the above advantages, good-looking people also have higher self-esteem. What with all those dates and the extra money, is it any wonder they think better of themselves than their less fortunate peers?

From infancy we look for encouragement and approval. Yet our culture does not readily give this. Parents can be tough taskmasters in seeking the best for their children, as many of you may know. Young people have a tendency to be intolerant of difference and often mock their peers who are clever or hard working. The educational system with its emphasis on league tables implicitly demands more and more and leaves less scope for valuing improvement. There is a constant bombardment of messages telling us we should be young, slim, beautiful, fashionably dressed, have a lover and money to spend. Personal acknowledgement of ability and pride in oneself can be regarded as being arrogant, boastful, or conceited.

Rejection at any age is likely to undermine self-esteem. Events like parents separating, a boy or girlfriend being unfaithful, being ostracised by friends or picked on by peers, dealing with an unsuccessful application, having an accident, a burglary, or coping with a death are likely to provoke feelings of loss and threat. For some this is temporary, while for others the effects are long-lasting.

Conversely, success is a great ego booster, and academic achievement is an obvious source of success. However, the competitive environment that UCL can sometimes be can lead to self-doubt and insecurity. There is a lot of pressure on students to do well for the sake of parents, departments, and the UCL as a whole. In fact, you may even feel that other people over-estimate your ability and this burden of expectation can lead to a sense of failure and impossibility.

However, what we feel about ourselves is not based solely on what we do, it usually involves our relationships with others and whether we feel worthwhile as people. We need to be wanted, noticed, and included. We want to contribute, be of value, and make a difference - in other words to matter.

Our self-esteem continually fluctuates and is affected by events and encounters with other people. We are also constantly judging and evaluating ourselves, often in comparison with others. Observing ourselves in relation to other people can be a helpful source of learning and feedback. Yet all too often comparison slips into competition and others become a yardstick by which we evaluate ourselves as good or bad, competent or inadequate.

The reality is we are all different. Each of us has strengths and limitations which we need to learn about and learn to live with. There are aspects of our behaviour and appearance we may seek to change or develop, but a sense of self is also based on self-awareness and self-acceptance.

Spot on.

Dock missar du som vanligt huvudproblemet. Du är deppig för att du levt ett liv ignorerad av brudar. Du är ignorerad av brudar för att du inte är tillräckligt attraktiv, dvs tillräckligt lång och tillräckligt snygg.

Ett liv osynliggjord av brudar gör dig deppig, och precis som du säger så är detta bara ytterligare en utseendemässig signal som brudar kan tolka som att du, precis som deras bedömning av ditt utseende, inte duger åt dem.

Been there, done that.

Exakt.

Vilket borde utlösa en tankekedja som omedelbart leder till insikt om att utseende är allt.

Det är nämligen exakt samma saker som gör att kvinnor hellre kastar sig framför en jordfräs än att kontemplera fysisk kontakt med dig, som också gör att andra män mobbar dig.

Män använder svaga och oattraktiva män som dominansmåltavlor, för att klampa sig mot toppen av näringskedjan, där egofeministen väntar med uppbräsad fitta, och kanske också klanledarskapet där andra män ska rangordna sig.

Jag tror att Lantbruk blir mer och mer införstådd i tingens beskaffenhet, och hans senare trådar och inlägg är trevare där han testar sina "nya" insikter.

Vi ser också forumets egofeminister till slut börja erkänna att utseende är allt, vilket i all sin tragikomik ändå är ganska "rewarding" för en som sedan start fått vara en nagel i ögat på dem.

Självförtroende är inget man föds med, det byggs gradvis genom ditt liv baserat på hur andra människor rankar och uppskattar dig. Attraktiv man får massor av uppskattning, oattraktiv man får lite och ingenting.

Ganska enkelt att förstå, men uppenbarligen inte för somliga.