Cybersex, stor humor xD

Jdogg: I drop you on the ground, and lay a stripe down your back.
QT-Pie: A stripe?
Jdogg: I need a sandwich.
QT-Pie: You're a freak.
Jdogg: I was great. You loved it.




Skall fan dra den nästa gång jag sätter på en brud.
Istället för att fråga klassikern, "Var det skönt för dig med?"

- Jag var en hingst, du älskade det, speciellt när jag sprutade dig i fejan efter 4 minuter...

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I'm also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK
Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.
Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I'm sorry.
Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
Wellhung: I'll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don't worry about it.I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts. They're neat!
Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What's the matter?
Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I can't find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What's the matter now?
Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman's thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I'm flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: <logged off>

sweet17: Hi
bloodninja: hello
bloodninja: who is this?
sweet17: just a someone?
bloodninja: A someone I know?
sweet17: nope
bloodninja: Then why the hell are you bothering me?
sweet17: well sorrrrrry
sweet17: I just wanted to chat with you
bloodninja: why?
sweet17: nevermind your an jerk
bloodninja: Hey wait a minute
sweet17: yes?
bloodninja: look I'm sorry. I'm just a little paranoid
sweet17: paranoid?
bloodninja: yes
sweet17: of what?
sweet17: me?
bloodninja: No. I'm in hiding.
sweet17: LOL
bloodninja: Don't fucking laugh at me!
bloodninja: This shit is serious!
sweet17: What are you hiding from?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: gimme a fucking break
bloodninja: I'm serious.
sweet17: I don't get it
bloodninja: The cops are after me.
sweet17: For what?
bloodninja: I'm wanted in three states
sweet17: For???
bloodninja: It's kindof embarrasing.
bloodninja: I had sex with a turkey.
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You are fucking sick.
bloodninja: Send me your picture.
sweet17: why?
bloodninja: so I know you aren't one of them.
sweet17: One of what?
bloodninja: The cops.
sweet17: I'm not a cop i told you
bloodninja: Then send me your picture.
sweet17: hold on
bloodninja: Hurry up.
bloodninja: Are you there?
bloodninja: fuck you, cop!
sweet17: Hey sorry
sweet17: I had to do something for my mom.
bloodninja: I thought you were trying to find a picture to send to me.
bloodninja: When really you were notifying the authorities.
bloodninja: Weren't you!?
sweet17: thats not it
bloodninja: Then what?
sweet17: I don't want to send you the picture cause I'm not pretty
bloodninja: Most cops aren't
sweet17: IM NOT A FUCKING COP YOU DICKSHIT!
bloodninja: Then send me the picture.
sweet17: fine. What's your e-mail?
bloodninja: Just send it through here.
sweet17: alright *PIC*
sweet17: Did you get it?
bloodninja: Hold on. I'm looking.
sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?
sweet17: Yes. I'm not that much smaller than that now.
bloodninja: Will it make you feel better if I send you my picture?
sweet17: yes
bloodninja: Alright let me find it.
sweet17: kks
bloodninja: Okay here it is. *PIC*
sweet17: this isn't you.
bloodninja: I'll be damned if it ain't!
sweet17: You don't look like that.
bloodninja: How the hell do you know?
sweet17: cause your profile has another picture.
bloodninja: The profile pic is a fake.
bloodninja: I use it to hide from the cops.
sweet17: You look like the Farm Fresh guy lol
bloodninja: Well, you look like you ATE the Farm Fresh guy....
bloodninja: Not to mention all the groceries.
sweet17: Go fuck yourself
bloodninja: I was going to until I saw that picture
bloodninja: Now my unit won't get hard for a week.
sweet17: I shouldn't have sent you that picture.
sweet17: You've done nothing but slam me.
sweet17: you hurt me.
bloodninja: And calling me the Farm Fresh guy doesn't hurt me?
sweet17: I thought you were bullcrapping me!
bloodninja: Why would I do that?
sweet17: I can't believe that cops are after you
bloodninja: I can't believe Santa lets you sit on his lap..
sweet17: FUCK YOU!!!
bloodninja: You'd break both of his legs.
sweet17: You're a fucking wanker!
sweet17: I've been teased my whole life because of my weight
sweet17: and you make fun of me when you don't even know me
bloodninja: Ok. I'm sorry.
sweet17: No you aren't
bloodninja: You're right. I'm not.
bloodninja: HAARRRRR!
sweet17: I'm done with you
bloodninja: Aww. I'm sorry.
sweet17: I'm putting you on ignore
bloodninja: Wait a sec
bloodninja: We got off on the wrong foot.
bloodninja: Wanna start over?
sweet17: No
bloodninja: I'll eat your kitty
sweet17: You'll what?
bloodninja: You heard me.
bloodninja: I said I'd eat your kitty.
sweet17: I thought you said you couldn't get it hard after seeing my picture
bloodninja: Do I need a hard-on to eat your kitty?
sweet17: I'd like to know that the man eating me out is excited yes
bloodninja: Well I'm not like most men.
bloodninja: I get excited in different ways.
sweet17: Like what?
bloodninja: Do you really wanna know?
sweet17: I don't know
bloodninja: You have to tell me yes or no.
sweet17: I'm afraid to
bloodninja: Why?
sweet17: cause
bloodninja: cause why?
sweet17: well lets see
sweet17: you say you have sex with turkeys. You call me fat. then you wanna eat me out
sweet17: doesn't that seem strange to you?
bloodninja: Nope
sweet17: well its strange to me
bloodninja: Fine. I won't do it if you don't want me to
sweet17: I didn't say that
bloodninja: So is that a yes?
sweet17: I guess so.
bloodninja: Ok. I need your help getting excited though.
bloodninja: Are you willing?
sweet17: What do you need me to do?
bloodninja: I need you talk like a pirate.
sweet17: ???
bloodninja: When I start to go limp... you say "HARRRR!!!"
bloodninja: ok?
bloodninja: Hello?
sweet17: You can't be serious
bloodninja: Oh yes I am!
bloodninja: It's my fantasy.
sweet17: this is retarded
bloodninja: Do you want it or not?
sweet17: Yes I want it.
bloodninja: Then you'll do it for me?
sweet17: sure
bloodninja: Ok. Here we go.
bloodninja: I gently remove your panties and being to massage your thighs.
bloodninja: You get really juicy thinking about my tounge brushing up against them
bloodninja: I softly begin to tounge your wet kitty.
bloodninja: I run my tounge up and down your smooth cunt.
sweet17: mmmm yeah
bloodninja: uh oh ...going limp.
sweet17: Har
bloodninja: You gotta do better than that!
bloodninja: Your picture was really bad.
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: Ahhhh. Much better. I feel your kitty get more moist with every stroke.
bloodninja: I softly suck on your clit bringing it in and out of my mouth.
bloodninja: Your juices run down my chin as your scent makes its way to my nose.
bloodninja: I begin to feel empowered by your femininity.
sweet17: mmmmmm you are good
bloodninja: I feel your thighs tighten as I fuck harder
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: HARRRRRRR
bloodninja: Mmmm I grab your swelling buttocks in my hands.
bloodninja: You begin to sway back and forth.
bloodninja: going limp
sweet17: this is stupid
bloodninja: ...still limp
bloodninja: Do it!
sweet17: HARRRRRRRRRRRRR
bloodninja: I turn you around to lick your asshole.
bloodninja: I pry apart that battleship you call your ass.
bloodninja: I see poo nuggets hanging from the hair around your ass.
sweet17: WTF?!?!?
bloodninja: They stink really bad.
sweet17: OMG STOP!!!
bloodninja: I start to get fed up with your ugly ass
bloodninja: I tear off your wooden peg leg.
bloodninja: I ram it up your ass.
sweet17: YOURE A FUCKING PYSCHO!!
bloodninja: Then I pour hot carmel over your head.
bloodninja: And turn you into a fucking candy apple...
bloodninja: I kick you in the face!
sweet17: FUCK YOU DICKHEAD!!
bloodninja: The celluloid from your cheeks hits the side of the cabin...
bloodninja: Your parrot flys away.
bloodninja: ...going limp again.
bloodninja: Hello?
bloodninja: Say it!
bloodninja: HAARRRRRR!!!!!

VictimX_27: Hi there!
cheesedog: HEYA!
VictimX_27: What u up 2?
cheesedog: Nice English.
cheesedog: Did you learn that on the short bus?
VictimX_27: Get fucked
cheesedog: I'm just joking relax
cheesedog: What's your name?
VictimX_27: Whats yours?
cheesedog: I asked you first.
VictimX_27: I asked you second
cheesedog: Did I time just warp to middle school?
VictimX_27: huh
cheesedog: Never mind. My name is Johnny
cheesedog: Johnny Cheesedog
VictimX_27: Thats not your real name
cheesedog: Why isn't that my real name?
VictimX_27: No one has the name Cheesedog as a last name
cheesedog: Well I do. Whats wrong with it?
VictimX_27: Nothin i suppose
VictimX_27: Is that your real pic in that av?
cheesedog: Yes it is
VictimX_27: Very handsome
cheesedog: Thanks
VictimX_27: You kinda look like eminem
cheesedog: Fuck you.
VictimX_27: HEY! I meant that in a good way
VictimX_27: I think eminem is hot!
cheesedog: Oh. You think I'm hot?
VictimX_27: Yeah
cheesedog: What do you look like?
cheesedog: Do you have a pic?
VictimX_27: I don't show my picture to anyone
cheesedog: Why not?
VictimX_27: Cause I'm ugly
cheesedog: I won't make fun of you
VictimX_27: Its not that. I just don't like my looks
cheesedog: So you have no self-esteem, huh?
cheesedog: Is that what you're saying?
VictimX_27: I just don't think I'm pretty
cheesedog: Let me be the judge of that.
VictimX_27: Nahhh
cheesedog: Then describe yourself.
VictimX_27: Why do u wanna know what I look like?
cheesedog: Because I think you're nice
cheesedog: I want to picture you in my head while I'm talking to you.
VictimX_27: LMAO!! You don't want 2 picture me. Trust me
cheesedog: Why not?
VictimX_27: I told you. I'm ugly.
cheesedog: Well... I think you're beautiful on the inside.
VictimX_27: You don't even know me
cheesedog: I'm a pretty good judge of character
VictimX_27: Then why do u need 2 see me?
cheesedog: I just wanted to know thats all
cheesedog: If you aren't comfortable with it... thats fine.
VictimX_27: You don't understand
cheesedog: Is it that bad?
VictimX_27: YESSSSS
cheesedog: Ok then. I'm gonna picture you as Weezy from the Jeffersons.
cheesedog: She is the bomb!
cheesedog: She makes me hot just thinking about her!
VictimX_27: Wheezy?
cheesedog: Yep. Weezy.
VictimX_27: Who is that?
cheesedog: George's wife.
VictimX_27: Who is george
cheesedog: George Jefferson. From the Jeffersons.
cheesedog: Are you fucking deaf?
VictimX_27: Who are the Jeffersons?
cheesedog: Oh lord. Here we go
VictimX_27: wut?
cheesedog: You don't know who the Jeffersons are?
VictimX_27: Should I?
cheesedog: Yes.
VictimX_27: Well I don't.
cheesedog: FISH DONT FRY IN THE KITCHEN! BEANS DONT BURN ON THE GREEEELL...
VictimX_27: huhhh?
cheesedog: TOOK A WHOOOOLE LOTTA LU UH VINNNN. JUST TO GET UP THAT HEEEELL
VictimX_27: Wut the hell are you saying?
cheesedog: Hold on a second
cheesedog: Here you go. *PIC*
VictimX_27: Thats her?
cheesedog: Yep
VictimX_27: I don't look anything like that
cheesedog: SHUT UP! You're ruining my fantasy!
VictimX_27: LOL. You're funny.
cheesedog: What's funny?
VictimX_27: u r
cheesedog: I'm glad I entertain you
VictimX_27: me 2
cheesedog: So if you don't look like Weezy, what do you look like?
VictimX_27: u don't give up do u?
cheesedog: Never
VictimX_27: I'm the exact opposite of her
cheesedog: ???
VictimX_27: I'm very white
cheesedog: Thats cool, my white anti-soul sista'
VictimX_27: LOL
cheesedog: I can dig white chicks too, I guess.
VictimX_27: I'm whiter than most
cheesedog: really?
VictimX_27: I'm an albino
cheesedog: a what?
VictimX_27: u don't know what that is?
cheesedog: I've heard the word before
VictimX_27: I have no pigment in my skin, eyes or hair
VictimX_27: So I'm all white
cheesedog: This is bullshit
VictimX_27: I'm serious!
VictimX_27: You've never seen an albino before?
cheesedog: No. Where do they live? Albinia?
VictimX_27: No, we live all over.
cheesedog: Then how come I've never seen any
VictimX_27: Lucky I suppose
cheesedog: Send me your picture. I wanna know what an albino looks like.
VictimX_27: I'll send you a picture of one but not me
cheesedog: Ok
VictimX_27: Here u go *PIC*
cheesedog: Whoa. Thats freaky
VictimX_27: See why I don't send my picture out?
cheesedog: there's nothing wrong with it.
cheesedog: It doesn't make you ugly
cheesedog: This chick is kind of hot actually.
VictimX_27: Thank u
cheesedog: No problem
cheesedog: Her, not you. I don't know what you look like.
VictimX_27: Are you gonna be on in 3 hours?
cheesedog: Yes
VictimX_27: I have to go to the mall with my sister
VictimX_27: Will you be here when I get back?
cheesedog: S ure. Then I'll sex you up.
VictimX_27: Gee thanks. LOL
cheesedog: I'm serious
VictimX_27: We'll see.
cheesedog: Yes we will.
VictimX_27: Bye for now!
cheesedog: Make sure you wear some sunscreen.
VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>

About 3 hours later...

VictimX_27: HEY!
cheesedog: Hello there
VictimX_27: I'm back
cheesedog: Have fun at the mall?
VictimX_27: Yeah. I got some new shoes
cheesedog: Interesting
VictimX_27: Not really. Just shoes
cheesedog: You ready to be sexed up now?
VictimX_27: LOL
cheesedog: Is that a yes?
VictimX_27: Could be
VictimX_27:
cheesedog: HOT DAMN!
cheesedog: I gently suck your nipples
cheesedog: I feel them get hard then I jam my hand down your..
VictimX_27: WOAH! Slow down cowboy
cheesedog: Why?
VictimX_27: I'm not just gonna cyber with you if thats all you want
cheesedog: What do you mean?
VictimX_27: You're not going to ignore me later are you?
cheesedog: Of course not.
cheesedog: I like you.
VictimX_27: I don't even know how old you are.
cheesedog: I'm 27. Now....
cheesedog: I gently massage your breasts with my rough hands
cheesedog: I roll your nipples between my fingers
VictimX_27: WAIT!
cheesedog: They get hard again... what?
VictimX_27: Don't you wanna know anything about me first?
VictimX_27: Like what I like?
cheesedog: Oh yeah. Sure. Hurry up.
VictimX_27: That didn't sound convincing.
cheesedog: YES I WANNA KNOW WHAT YOU LIKE RIGHT NOW!!!
VictimX_27: Now u r being a smartass
VictimX_27: Just give me a minute
cheesedog: ok
VictimX_27: I'm back
cheesedog: np
VictimX_27: thank you
cheesedog: So what do you like?
VictimX_27: Ummmm being licked
cheesedog: Where?
VictimX_27: Everywhere
cheesedog: Any place in particular?
VictimX_27: uhhh yeah
cheesedog: tell me
VictimX_27: on my clit
cheesedog: OK!
cheesedog: NOW YOU'RE TALKIN!
VictimX_27: I also like being done from behind
cheesedog: Ooooooohhhh.
cheesedog: Ok. Check this out.
cheesedog: We're in an abandoned building.
cheesedog: No is around. Its all quiet.
VictimX_27: Uh huh
cheesedog: I gently unbutton your pants and slide my hand across your clit
cheesedog: You get all warm and juicy.
cheesedog: I slip your panties down and continue to massage your pussy
VictimX_27: oooohh mmmm
cheesedog: I place my mouth on your pussy as I eat you from behind
cheesedog: I wiggle my tounge around across your moist hole
VictimX_27: yessss
cheesedog: I cover your ears with my hands as I eat you.
cheesedog: Egon and Ray sneak in from the back.
cheesedog: *Powering up Proton packs*
VictimX_27: ???
cheesedog: Then... Egon BLASTS your pasty white ass!!
cheesedog: POW!! BZZZZZTTTTTPHTTTTTT!!!
cheesedog: Winston and Peter set up the containment trap....
VictimX_27: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!!!
cheesedog: You wiggle around in the proton streams buck naked
cheesedog: The streams almost cross! Look out!!
cheesedog: Peter smacks you across the chin with his gun
cheesedog: They open the trap and it sucks your pale ass in!
VictimX_27: This isn't funny johnny!
cheesedog: SHUT UP! YOUR CAUGHT!
cheesedog: **puts you in the containment area**
cheesedog: Slimer is in there too..
VictimX_27: YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE!
cheesedog: I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP!
cheesedog: Now...Slimer sticks his green, slimey cock in your pigmentless ass.
cheesedog: **HE SLIMES YOU!**
VictimX_27: Never talk to me again!
cheesedog: He cums all over your hair... but no one notices cause its the same color
VictimX_27: FUCK YOUUUU
cheesedog: He eats a powdered donut!
VictimX_27: SHUT UP AND FUCK YOUUUU!!!!!
cheesedog: o wait! It was your hand, you scary, white whore!
VictimX_27: LEAVE ME ALONE!!!
cheesedog: Chill out, Casper. You're trapped, I said.
cheesedog: Slimer goes to lick your clit.
cheesedog: But there is already slime on your it!!
cheesedog: Slimer thinks you are a cheater and gets jealous!!
cheesedog: HE RIPS YOUR WHITE TITS OFF!
VictimX_27: FUCK YOU!!!!!!!!
cheesedog: **Plays volleyball with them**
VictimX_27: <USER HAS LOGGED OUT>

tekubus2002: hello
tekubus2002: are you nice girl
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes! A/S/L?
tekubus2002: hello
tekubus2002: i am not your age
tekubus2002: some older
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: That's ok!
tekubus2002: i am 28
tekubus2002: not too good for girl like you
tekubus2002: you are living in america
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes!
tekubus2002: i have visa for to come and stay
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Where do you live?
tekubus2002: i am now living in london
tekubus2002: but i am from africa my birth
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you are a black man?
tekubus2002: i have many place in my heart for night gorl like you
tekubus2002: i am brown
tekubus2002: of color
tekubus2002: but do not have ugly face as do some
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am glad to hear that!
tekubus2002: it is ferturs they say
tekubus2002: some do not like the brown in the face
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Why not? Because it looks like poop?
tekubus2002: do you like ?
tekubus2002: some say cake some say poop
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I like it!
tekubus2002: i say cake
tekubus2002: ithink you are nice and special
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Thank you!
tekubus2002: for me to have as one day to be a wofe
tekubus2002: or maybe a nice friend
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Really? I would love to be your wife, if you are kind and gentle.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What would you do to win my love?
tekubus2002: what would you have me do my prince ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Tell me!
tekubus2002: i would make you a bed of the roses and lay on you then
tekubus2002: so that you would feel pretty and warm
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You would lay on me?
tekubus2002: ok
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Like a man-blanket?
tekubus2002: i said so ok
tekubus2002: yes
tekubus2002: a blanked made of from me
tekubus2002: you liek this concep ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I do!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Would you be other types of furniture for me?
tekubus2002: if you had no furniture
tekubus2002: perhaps
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Would you be a sofa when I wanted to sit and watch TV?
tekubus2002: i do not make proper otomon
tekubus2002: if it please you to sit i will be stand for your pleasure
tekubus2002: as long as you become in love and happy for me
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: That would be lovely!
tekubus2002: i know this
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If it was dark, would you be a lamp for me?
tekubus2002: i do not lisht from my body but perhaps if i had a light in my hand
tekubus2002: or a bulb
tekubus2002: i could make less darkness
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If you put a bulb in your mouth...
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And then an electrical cord up your ass.
tekubus2002: i have seen this work
tekubus2002: on the television
tekubus2002: maybe
tekubus2002: on the uncle fester i have seen
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you could be a whole living room set of furniture for me!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You have made me so happy.
tekubus2002: but i dio not know if this is something that is scientific
tekubus2002: i am glad you have become happy now
tekubus2002: when will we greet
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You are coming in March?
tekubus2002: i have a apointment in new york in march i will maybe see you if you like me to be with you
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I am in California.
tekubus2002: its ok
tekubus2002: i can come there too
tekubus2002: from train goes there
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If you come I want you to do something special for me.
tekubus2002: are you living with parents ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes
tekubus2002: you can come out from the house to greeting at the train someday
tekubus2002: we can go exploring your country's side
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What I want you to do is this:
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to rent a hotel room.
tekubus2002: ok am listening
tekubus2002: go head
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And I want you to be all the furniture in the hotel room.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And then we will make love.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Do you understand?
tekubus2002: at one time ?
tekubus2002: yes i do
tekubus2002: but only one perhapos
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: No
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: It needs to be everything.
tekubus2002: and then become other and then other
tekubus2002: i am not so decorative i think
tekubus2002: but we will find a way
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want to sit on you as a chair and watch TV - which is you pretending to be the TV - at the same time as you the refrigerator keeps my food cold.
tekubus2002: i want to try
tekubus2002: but i do not know scientist to keep cold
tekubus2002: but i have a warm body foor keeping your feet wart
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I think you can do anything!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: You seem so smart!
tekubus2002: and your vagina warm to the touch maybe
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Maybe!
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So you and i would make love?
tekubus2002: i am so smart and you can learn from me as i teaching you things of that nature
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: okay!
tekubus2002: would you be able to appreciate this ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What would you teach me?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I have always had a fantasy about making love to a bedside table.
tekubus2002: we have many sexual customs in my country wich we find sex
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Tell me about some of them.
tekubus2002: do you have circumsised ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Of course! You can buy furniture uncircumcised (natural) or circumcised (veneer).
tekubus2002: yes exactly
tekubus2002: we have one women who are not
tekubus2002: they are considered hrony
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Oh really?
tekubus2002: and we have ones that have this procedure
tekubus2002: and they are good wives
tekubus2002: not sluts
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Interesting
tekubus2002: it is not painful
tekubus2002: ony with one pinch only
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: So I should have that done?
tekubus2002: if you wish to become a good bride and sit with no regard
tekubus2002: yes !
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: If you act as all the furniture in a hotel room of love I will gladly let you cut the hell out of my cooter.
tekubus2002: this is a good measure
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Sounds fair.
tekubus2002: and you will love me more for this is my custom
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: But before you do, I want to use you as EVERY piece of furniture.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to be my ice machine.
tekubus2002: as such ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to be my closet.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I want you to be my toilet.
tekubus2002: i do not know if i can become things like irioning board
tekubus2002: this becomes hot to the surface
tekubus2002: toilet?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Yes
tekubus2002: i think you might now want that
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I do!
tekubus2002: go to the bathroom on my body?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: IN your body.
tekubus2002: oh
tekubus2002: well ok so it is
tekubus2002: it is only one sacrifice for my love and nature
tekubus2002: what would you wna t to do with my penis ?
tekubus2002: as i am very stong in the penis
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Really!
tekubus2002: oh yes
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I would like your penis to be furniture too.
tekubus2002: how is this
tekubus2002: while it was elongate ?
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Either way...
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: When it is elongate I would like it to be a curtain rod.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: And while it is flaccid I would like it to be a doorstop.
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: In the hotel room.
tekubus2002: it is useful in this manner
tekubus2002: as long as it can be it can be only many things
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: I understand!
tekubus2002: good
tekubus2002: it can not be some things
tekubus2002: but others yes
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: What can it not be?
tekubus2002: it cannot be a devining rod
tekubus2002: i have not had much success with finding water while it is elongate
tekubus2002: only if while i urinate in the direction of my face
a_m_b_e_r_4_e_v_e_r: Do you do that often?

Hahaha va klockren

sweet17: That was me back in may
sweet17: I've lost weight since then.
bloodninja: I hope so
sweet17: what?!?
sweet17: that hurt my feelings.
bloodninja: Did it?

evil_sarah: So you like bbws?
VictimX4: Nope...I Luv BBW"S...;o)))
evil_sarah: You're sort of cute.
VictimX4: ThanXXX...;o)))
VictimX4: Am Truly Honored...
evil_sarah: You look like you really know how to handle a woman like me.
VictimX4: 24/7...........;o)))
evil_sarah: So what would you do to me if I was there right now?
VictimX4: cover you in cane syrup and start licking you from your toes up to your ears...
evil_sarah: Mmmmm. That sounds good. Then what?
VictimX4: rub you down with baby oil and make HOT SLIPPERY LOVE to You For Hours...
evil_sarah: I only have 5 toes.
evil_sarah: Is that a problem for you?
VictimX4: is ok with me...
evil_sarah: Ok.
evil_sarah: I lost one of my legs in Desert Storm.
evil_sarah: They didn't show any of it on CNN, but it was hell over there.
evil_sarah: I was really in the shit.
VictimX4: am a vet also...
evil_sarah: yeah. From what war?
VictimX4: Nam Era...
evil_sarah: Really?
evil_sarah: You kill a lot of gooks over there?
VictimX4: some...was in Armor...a Tanker...
evil_sarah: You kill any women and children?
VictimX4: not that I Know of...
evil_sarah: I did.
evil_sarah: I hit them with the flame thrower.
evil_sarah: They tried to tell me they were civilians but I knew better.
evil_sarah: So I torched them.
evil_sarah: One of them threw a grenade and blew off one of my legs.
VictimX4: was pretty lucky...came back "Almost" like I left...
evil_sarah: What do you mean "Almost"?
VictimX4: still think about tymes...there...but ok Physically...
evil_sarah: Yeah? Did you ever make a neclace out of ears?
VictimX4: you never really forget...
evil_sarah: I did.
VictimX4: no...tried very hard to keep my Sanity...
evil_sarah: I still have a finger neclace that I wear every day.
evil_sarah: It stunk for a while but now it's just like a bunch of beef jerky.
VictimX4: did not get to bring anything back...
evil_sarah: They didn't want to let me keep it on the transport back so I had to hide it in my ass.
evil_sarah: It hurt. The fingernails kept scratching me.
evil_sarah: Let's not talk about those times.
evil_sarah: You were just about to oil up my stump.
VictimX4: ok...
evil_sarah: Keep going. Tell me what you would do next.
VictimX4: completely lost the mode...sorry...
VictimX4: mood...
evil_sarah: Come on. Pretend I'm one of those Saigon whores.
VictimX4: mind kinda wonders off to those tymes...
VictimX4: they were not really all that hot...alll skin and bones...
VictimX4: not cuddly at all...
evil_sarah: Tell me I'm a slut and pull my hair.
VictimX4: I like to do that...;o)))
evil_sarah: What's up with that link on your profile? You have herpes?
VictimX4: yes...one thing I did get to bring back...
evil_sarah: I got it too from Kuwait.
evil_sarah: No big deal. I can deal with it.
VictimX4: me also...
evil_sarah: Does yours itch?
VictimX4: am pretty lucky...only a few tymes a yr...
evil_sarah: Sometimes i can't tell if it's the herpes or the vaginosis. But it itches like crazy.
evil_sarah: It smells horrible too. Like a burning tire.
evil_sarah: So come on. You were in the middle of oiling me up.
evil_sarah: Let's get it on.
VictimX4: Sorry ...maybe some other tyme...maybe???
evil_sarah: No. Come on. You got me all excited now.
evil_sarah: Don't you want to have cyber sex with me?
VictimX4: can not concentrate right now...
evil_sarah: Why not?
evil_sarah: You're not having flashbacks to the Nam are you?
VictimX4: not really flashbacks...just bad memeories
evil_sarah: Like what?
evil_sarah: You hearing voices?
evil_sarah: You got gooks in the peremiter?
VictimX4: you always hear their voices and see their faces...but worst yet is when the faces
VictimX4: you see is their Death Face...not when they were alive...
evil_sarah: Oh yeah. Now your're getting me hot. Keep going.
evil_sarah: I'm sucking on one of the fingers from my neclace right now. Hello?
VictimX4: have to hit the showers. Got to get up for work tomorrow.
evil_sarah: No don't go!
evil_sarah: I'm almost finished.
evil_sarah: I'm fingering my self with one of the bigger ones from my neclace.
VictimX4: don't have tyme
evil_sarah: This fuckign vaginosois. Makes it look like it's covered with cottage cheese.
VictimX4: sounds nice. Bye.
evil_sarah: You pussy!
evil_sarah: A real man would at least finish a woman off.
evil_sarah: You have no backbone.
VictimX4: But I love you! You are a bbw!!
evil_sarah: That's why you couldn't bring yourself to torch those women and kids In the Nam.
evil_sarah: I once burned a kid to death with a pack of matched
evil_sarah: because my flamethrower was out of gas.
VictimX4: Bye.
evil_sarah: I smuggled one guy's brains back in a mayonnaise jar.
evil_sarah: I put it on crackers and eat it at special occasions.
VictimX4: You're sick. Goodbye.
evil_sarah: Mostly on Holidays. I don't have much left.
evil_sarah: Are you still there?
evil_sarah: ANSWER ME!

----------------------------------------------------------------------

Bigbenny02: hi, a/s/l?
kwazyfwies: hiya 18/f/usa u?
Bigbenny02: wow, 18/m/usa
Bigbenny02: want to cyber?
kwazyfwies: yes
kwazyfwies: you start ok?
Bigbenny02: ok then
Bigbenny02: I slowly advanced towards you, my breathing quickens
kwazyfwies: I'm laying on my bed with just my blouse and nikers on
Bigbenny02: I growl like a sexualy frustrated beast!
kwazyfwies: lol, I ask you to come closer
Bigbenny02: I run across the room and jump on top of you...
kwazyfwies: easy big boy
Bigbenny02: i turn you over, and rub your back slowly
kwazyfwies: mmmm thats nice
Bigbenny02: I pin you down and let loose an evil hissing sound
kwazyfwies: wtf?
Bigbenny02: Surprise! muhahahahahaha, i'm a vampire, and i vant to suck your blood!
kwazyfwies: forget it physco
Bigbenny02: don't you like it like that babyface?
kwazyfwies: no
Bigbenny02: i was only joking! sorry, let me try again
kwazyfwies: ok
Bigbenny02: I gently caress your tender bottem.
kwazyfwies: I moan softly
Bigbenny02: All of a suden I scream loudly, pull apart your arse cheeks, burry my face in the dingle berry encrusted hair mass, and inhale deeply through my nose
kwazyfwies: you sick fuck
Bigbenny02: you smell bad baby, do you wash?
kwazyfwies: bye looser.
Bigbenny02: sorry, its my bad sense of humor, Most people i say it to find it funny?
kwazyfwies: ...i don't
Bigbenny02: I turn you over, and pull out my purple headed warrior
kwazyfwies: its not very big
Bigbenny02: you won't be saying that when it infiltrates your poop tube and rips apart your colon!!!
Bigbenny02: I thrust my pocket rocket at you, and begin humping your leg like a powerful german shepard!
kwazyfwies: don't talk to me ever again
Bigbenny02: I move my hands down to your black triangle of love, somehow managing to wade through the jungle of pubic hair, i find a pink patch...
Bigbenny02: omg. hidden in the hair is a small penis!
kwazyfwies: i'm reporting you...
Bigbenny02: I squeel like a freshly wounded pig at the sight of it.
Bigbenny02: "so thats your dark secret!" i scream, "you sick twisted bitch!"
Bigbenny02: u run away, into the night, crying, the cold wind whipps your naked flesh, i chase after you
Bigbenny02: i drop kick you, and rip off your left leg leaving a small bloody stump. "you aint pretty no more!!!"
kwazyfwies: blocked. looza
Bigbenny02: bye sweet stuff

Läst de 4 första, garvar som fasen. "I'm a rhinocerous" lol. TACK!

En som inte är med nån annanstans är med damen "Voluptuous LaFolette"
http://www.itsoverninethousand.com/cat/bloodninja/

Kanske inte såå rolig dock.

MEN HÄR hittade jag en länk till alla andra Bloodninjas verk:
http://www.angelfire.com/nj4/blood/database.html

HAHA!

Så jävla skön, det roligast är ju att personerna han chattar med är seriösa!

<dominant_kille16> hej!
<dominant_kille16> tjej!?
<Raudung> jaa
<dominant_kille16> ålder?
<Raudung> BÅT
<dominant_kille16> båt?
<dominant_kille16> jag ee kåt
<Raudung> jag menar det
<dominant_kille16> hehe
<dominant_kille16> ser ut?
<Raudung> Snygg
<dominant_kille16> beskriv
<Raudung> lång, ljushårig, BÅT, gröna ögon
<dominant_kille16> ok
<dominant_kille16> c6?
<Raudung> OK
<dominant_kille16> bra
<dominant_kille16> hehe
<dominant_kille16> roller?
<Raudung> okej
<dominant_kille16> villka roller+
<Raudung> vet inte
<Raudung> bestäm du
<dominant_kille16> ok
<dominant_kille16> sla jag va dominerande
<Raudung> OK
<dominant_kille16> ok
<dominant_kille16> hehe
<dominant_kille16> jag ser dig ute säger hej!
<Raudung> Hej säger jag
<dominant_kille16> jag kolar på dig går fram mot dig viskar i ditt öra vill du följa med in på nån av toaletterna?
<Raudung> Jag har en inbyggd kompass i golvet viskar jag tillbaka och rodnar
<Raudung> hallå?
<dominant_kille16> ok
<dominant_kille16> jag tar din hand
<dominant_kille16> går iväg med dig
<dominant_kille16> jag låser dörren
<Raudung> Jag skrålar glatt
<dominant_kille16> skrålar?
<Raudung> Ja
<dominant_kille16> ok hee
<dominant_kille16> jag kolar på dig säger sätt dig ner
<Raudung> Det här har jag väntat på länge
<Raudung> Sa jag, OCH FLÖG UT GENOM FÖNSTRET!
<dominant_kille16> va
<dominant_kille16> genom fönstre?
<Raudung> På toaletten alltså
<Raudung> jag springer och skrattar lustfyllt
<Raudung> DU MÅSTE FÅNGA MIG
<dominant_kille16> jag springer
<dominant_kille16> efter
<dominant_kille16> snabbt
<dominant_kille16> tar tag i dig
<dominant_kille16> om händerna
<dominant_kille16> kysser dig
<Raudung> Hjääälp
<Raudung> skriker jag
<Raudung> alla tittar
<dominant_kille16> jag skrattr o kolar på andra dra iväg dig hem hos mig
<Raudung> Hjäälp skriker jag och sparkar och biter och avfyrar lysraketer och skickar röksignaler
<dominant_kille16> nu går du för långt
<Raudung> va?
<dominant_kille16> skickar
<dominant_kille16> raketer
<dominant_kille16> hurdå>?
<Raudung> vet inte =(
<dominant_kille16> jag tar dig
<dominant_kille16> lyfter dig
<dominant_kille16> vi går
<Raudung> ok
<dominant_kille16> jag öppnar dörren
<dominant_kille16> jag sätter ner dig på soffan
<Raudung> ok
<dominant_kille16> o kollar på dig
<dominant_kille16> o frågar vill du ha nåt att drick>?
<Raudung> L-l-lingonsaft
<dominant_kille16> ag tar framd
<dominant_kille16> det
<dominant_kille16> lägger fram det på bordet
<dominant_kille16> o sätter mig bredvid
<dominant_kille16> dig
<Raudung> Jag klunkar i mig två burkar
<dominant_kille16> jag kolar på dig o kysser dig lite
<dominant_kille16> smekr
<dominant_kille16> dig
<dominant_kille16> din kind
<Raudung> hmm, låt se nu, av en burk blir man full, då måste man bli dubbelt så dödsfull av tolv st... burkar
<Raudung> lingonsaft
<Raudung> sa jag och hällde snabbt i mig tolv st burkar och blev dödsfull
<dominant_kille16> jag
<dominant_kille16> fortsatte
<dominant_kille16> kyssa dig
<dominant_kille16> o började knäppa
<dominant_kille16> upp din blus
<dominant_kille16> tar av din behå snabbt
<Raudung> Tittar på klockan
<Raudung> och FLÖG UT GENOM FÖNSTRET
<dominant_kille16> ne inte igen
<dominant_kille16> snälla
<Raudung> okej då
<Raudung> jag gjorde inte det
<dominant_kille16> jag tar av din behå sakta
<dominant_kille16> kysser din hals lite
<dominant_kille16> jag tar v min tröja
<dominant_kille16> jag ställer mig
<dominant_kille16> upp
<dominant_kille16> kollar ner på dig
<dominant_kille16> jag säger jag vill du suger av mig
<Raudung> jag hukar mig ner... då känner du plötsligt en STÖT I RYGGEN
<dominant_kille16> va
<dominant_kille16> vad för stöt
<dominant_kille16> hur menar du?
<Raudung> där stod någon med långa lansar riktade emot dig
<dominant_kille16> asså snälla inget sånt
<Raudung> OKEJ DÅ =(
<dominant_kille16> jagkolar er påidg o säger att jag vill du suger av mig
<Raudung> Fotboll säger jag
<Raudung> och somnade
<Raudung> (det var nog droger)
<dominant_kille16> ne snääälla
<Raudung> sen vaknade jag
<Raudung> och satte mig i soffa
<dominant_kille16> jag säger sug av mig nu utan några störningar haha
<Raudung> då såg du att jag hade en svans
<dominant_kille16> ne sluta hitta på
<dominant_kille16> sånt
<dominant_kille16> bara gör som jag säger
<dominant_kille16> ok?
<Raudung> ok

Vafan?

Du smutsar ner en bra tråd.