Hey /b/tards & /pol/lacks
*
I've been reading along nearly all threads of my deed(s) on /B/ while sorting the fridge in the flat I'M currently at. I also took my time writing down neighbour activities so i can make the mail here disappear.
Finally done setting up paypal & amazon, ordered tons of food and some cosmetics and first aid (notfor my hosts, naturally)
*
Thats my situation basically, not6 very different from home. Except the dead jabba & her spawn (the onna-hole)
*
The police and MSM, not that there is any difference, have been calling me power hungry & very instable.
*
However i feel rational, since before my killings and even after. I cleaned up a good part of this place, never bothered to at home. The trick is to indulge in daily necessities.
*
I'm focussing my thoughts on what my situation is and how to "improve", not on mindlessly murdering pedestrians.
I know this isn't gta. I also know it takes time for people to die when shanked. Silencing them and looting them, while also making sure nobody notices like in hitman is near impoaaible.
So i'll probably just nigga your phone and piss off.
*
If I wanted tp exert power fantasies, i wouldn't in-the-spur-of-the-moment waste a kid. I'd git gud in cs.go or something (did people find my steam yet? Tip, its a month of the ancient attic caldendre)
*
Sorry psychologists, but while my statements shouldn't be taken at facevalue, I don't think i fit your 'gets bullied and lashes out at nearest target' MO. I always stood up to my bullies and became one myself
*
Now that doesn't mean I'm out to derive pleasure from doing this. Any murders after the first one are to secure a clandestine position. The death of Jaden didn't happen for any particular cause.
*
There is a motive, which i've stated, but neither will you press release it nor (probably) accept it. Since such a meek cause doesn't warrant my actions. Well, it was effective, no?
*
I got what I wanted: I'll not need to contribute to society via becoming an upstanding citizen.
Economies work mostly by forced altruism and I have 0% interest in taking part of sustaining somethin so useless.
*
Thats the why, anyway.
*
There is a second reason: I've been writing and improving my novel writing skill (no sonic oc, sorry) for years now
And they're all on my pc, just waiting to have more added.
*
I compared the research I did on topics of serial killing and the novels in that direction (I also write fantasy) and think this helped me greatly, improving my greatest hobby.
*
How is that relevant? I'm a hedonist. I don't feel like being pushed out of my current position, althrough it most certainly can't be reverted since i dun goofed.
*
At the same time: I'd consider myself an existencial nihilist. The universe doesn't care if some kid dies. Or planet earth. We humans are the only living organism that need rhime and reason to do stuff, I'd rather exclude myself from that description. I know my legacy won't hold more than 5 years at best and everyone currently alive is dust anyway in 200 years (in 50 million years, the only things "others" can find of our existence is glass ans plastic particles)